2023

I have joined the band wagon of rejecting the “new year, new me” phrase because no matter the years that have passed or the years that are to come- I am me.

However, I did coin the phrase “ I am different when I’m 29 “ shortly after my birthday passed in mid November (shoutout scorpios). I went through an awakening of sorts. I will accept your eye rolls and/or hefty breath here, but stay with me-

I am a person who has studied and practiced mindfulness and intention setting in the past, but with everything else in life, I drifted away from it. I circled back around again after realizing I have spent far too long feeling stuck, frustrated, and frankly unhappy.

How could I, a person who has this beautiful life, amazing kids, and supportive husband- feel this way?

I decided to look inward and put myself through a self development ringer.

Most of this was through reading. I am a big nerd who reads and listens to books constantly.

Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn sharpened the tools in my mindfulness tool box. One thing I find myself using often is consciously taking big, full deep breaths when I am feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or over stimulated and feeling the oxygen fill me up, giving me what I need. Then focusing on my slow exhale, feeling the breath leave my body. Coming back to my breath, with the mantra “a thought is a thought, a feeling is a feeling” I don’t have to cling to it and let it define me, a day, or even a moment.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb may very well be on my short list of all time favorite books. Lori is a therapist who writes about her experiences both giving and receiving therapy. There are so many lessons wrapped up in it. So many ideas you can analyze, dissect, and come at from a new angle. It made me laugh and cry, and most importantly it had me take a long, painful look in the mirror when it came to my drinking. (I’ll dive deeper into my drinking story  in another post)

This Naked Mind by Annie Grace is a GAME CHANGER for anyone interested in no longer drinking or slowing down. Again, this is a story for later but worth mentioning here to get a sense of my journey.

After I quit drinking and I was really putting my mindfulness practice to use, I felt this urgency to change everything. I felt a fog lift and had a motivation I haven’t felt in a long time.

I can not and will not lie. We have been living in a state of extreme clutter. I don’t mean the cutesy “omg my house is a mess” yet only 2 things are out of place situation but true disarray.

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo came next. I listened ravenously as I pulled everything out, sorted, and drove a literal truck load full of toys to the donation center. We have made 2 more trips since and many more will come.

A Year Of Less by Cait Flanders was next. It felt like the perfect culmination of everything that came before. This book is more of a memoir than a how to. Cait is sober. She is intentional, and she truly pushes herself to do and be better. In this book, she shares her journey to not spend money for a full year. Obviously, she allows herself to buy the essentials and food, but otherwise no spending. She also shares that she previously went through a year to cut all her debt before this. I couldn’t have been more excited and on board. I told Matt every single detail.

Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo had me looking harder at my social media use, what I really wanted from life, what would fulfill me and once I knew, how to figure it out and go after it.

This and Buy Yourself the F*cking Lillies got me back into journaling. I followed Tara Schuster’s advice of filling 3 pages without stopping, ramble and ramble. In the ramblings, I always find purpose or inspiration.

I kept coming back to the same idea- I want to write. I want to share myself, my ideas, and my experiences with others. Maybe no one cares and no one reads it, thats okay. Putting myself out there is brave. Being brave and allowing others to see me through my words might be hard but I can do hard things. There is space in the world for me, I will take my space and fill it. I will fill fully and overflow the edges because I have a lot to offer. If my offerings resonate, makes someone feel seen, helps, or inspires one person, that is more than enough for me. So that’s me, why I am here.

This is going to be a huge year for me. Again, not because the new year, new me idea- but because I am me. I am a person progressing- sometimes fast, other times slow, and occasionally not at all. But in it all, I know I am capable of all the things I put my effort into.

This year on my blog you will catch me talking self development, parenting, sobriety, financial planning, my year of less, mental health, and whatever else tickles my fancy.

If you’re here, thank you <3