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Non-Negotiables

Non-Negotiables

I can’t remember where I first picked up this idea of non-negotiables, but it has stuck.

Figuring out my non-negotiables has helped me take control of my life and see the power of my courage. I’ve constantly asked and reassessed what’s important to me, what makes me feel happy, and what habits keep me aligned with my goals? The answers to these questions make up my non-negotiables: the things I will do daily, the boundaries I will hold, and the choices I make.

It is so easy for us to let our house eat us alive. If we stop focusing on it for a single day, everything goes under. We have vowed to maintain progress. With many big projections, be it a fix, organization, or remodel always available to choose from, we must keep up with any old wins we make. Nothing is more disheartening than thoroughly cleaning and organizing the kids’ toys for them to end up in total disarray the next day.

Everyday household non-negotiables we’ve made-

  • Tidy toys before nap-time and bedtime /rotate every couple of days- only have out we can clean up in 5 minutes.
  • Vacuum twice- To vacuum, everything needs to be cleaned up, going right along with the tidying chore.
  • 0 dishes in the sink at the end of the night
  • Clear kitchen table
  • Tidy bathroom floor and counter
  • A single load of laundry

If these household non-negotiables seem silly and obvious, know I wish it was that way for me, too. It’s never helpful to laugh at a person trying to better themself. Solidarity to all who relate.

Having a clean, clutter-free space does so much for my mental health and my ability to keep the ball rolling. I know this, and I try to keep that in focus even on my hard days when I don’t want to do anything. Building these daily habits will make these chores think less. It won’t be work because it’s just what I do. Then, because I’m already moving and doing these things, more things start to magically happen. Momentum is real, and progress is addicting.

I also have personal non-negotiables that keep me centered and my head clear. I never want to be “so busy” with excuses that I neglect myself. If I’m not giving myself my best, I won’t have a best to give anyone else.

  • AM/PM full skincare routine
  • AM/PM gratitude journal
  • Personal Journal
  • Read something every day
  • No phone in bed or for the first 2 hours of the day
  • Wake up with alarm
  • Any amount of yoga- 5 minutes or an hour. Everything counts.

Making these things habits, things I know I’m going to do daily, no matter what is making me a better person. I am a person who deserves 10 minutes to myself to pamper and prepare for the day and night. Taking 5 minutes to complete my gratitude journal twice daily is the perfect reminder of how good things are and how insignificant the bumps are in the big picture. My days are filled with more beauty than ugly, even on my worst days. Allowing myself to unwind and unpack in my personal journal has unlocked things in me I didn’t even know I was holding on to. That journal is lawless; anything goes, and I have found parts of myself I am so happy to know within it. I find inspiration, reflection, and escape in books. I’d be better off spending time with pages than doom-scrolling or TV binging. This is the choice I’d like to make when I have free time, all the time. Setting boundaries on my phone use and social media has been a game changer, especially regarding my sleep. Once I decided to let my phone stay on my dresser overnight, I never looked back. The last thing I look at at night is the words of a good book, and the first thing I see in the morning is written words of my own thoughts.

I’ve picked up my yoga practice again. I haven’t missed many days in the last few weeks, and I feel amazing. I used to be a well-practiced yogi who could do pretty impressive things. I was strong, flexible, and present in my practice. I am certainly not much of those things anymore, almost 7 years and 2 kids later. I say that and joke myself, but in reality, it’s been incredible what my body seems to remember. I often surprise myself with the things I can do on my mat. It’s coming back to me. The goal used to be a handstand. Now, the goal is just to be there. I am proud of myself every time I lay the mat out. If it feels good each time I step on it, it feels 10x better when I step off. I’m not making my yoga practice a fitness goal. It’s a mind goal, and the fitness gains that will inevitably follow are just a bonus.

My non-negotiables are saving me. I dare you to set yours.