Think Again

So we are now more than 2 weeks past the new year and I feel the need to check in.

My original plan was to do monthly updates, but I’ve struggled this week and need a reminder of my progress.

Announcing my blog and all the changes I am making, felt so uplifting. I was motivated and positive, yet something happened.

I stumbled across the phrase- change hangover and felt it click.

Maybe that's it. I am experiencing a comedown from a natural high. I kinda feel like shit. I have dragged ass all week, forcing myself to keep at it.

I read something this week that said if you’re not moving forward, you're moving backward. There’s no such thing as a pause. That struck me because I would've argued for a pause being positive. But in examining, a pause is almost never a pause. It’s a slip. Slips are dangerous.

I slipped last weekend. I gave up on my routine and doing the things that have had me feeling so good and it led to my struggle this week. I know my best will look different each day, but my best will never include stopping.

I recently finished the audiobook, Think Again by Adam Grant, in which he narrates himself (I always love with authors narrate their own books). This book was interesting, thought-provoking, and somewhat timely. Here I am, feeling defeated by the lack of sunshine, rainbows, and productivity around me and I am reminded to Think Again.

If I am honest with myself, what did this past week look like? What good happened? What am I proud of?

I’ve read 10 books so far this year. I have washed, folded, and put away all my laundry this week. I loaded up 5 bags of clothes and another box of miscellaneous things to donate. For the first time since we moved into this house, my closet is clean and all my clothes are hanging up. I still journaled every day. I have also tidied every room and done the floors daily. I have spent hours indulging my kids in play with my full attention. We went on a playdate with friends. I grocery-shopped and only bought what we needed. I researched new Busy Playn jar themes and sent emails inquiring about upcoming markets. We have not eaten out once!

I am the biggest advocate for an ‘I did’ list as opposed to a to-do list. My mind already knows all the million things that need to be done. Focusing on what I accomplished helps me find a sense of pride, leaving my feelings of inadequacy in the dust.

Our plumbing went out again yesterday (parents, if you’re reading this- we’re fine, everything is fine. Matt is a master plumber). Back story, we bought this house in 2018 and the plumbing has gone out 5 times… We bought a lemon. Anyways, the plumbing went out and it really felt like the universe is against us. It is so easy to slip into the woe is me trope. We are trying our best to be these positive, evolving humans and of course, if it's not one thing, it's another.

However, in this complication came a beautiful win. Matt spent his evening and most of today, fighting the terrible pipes of this house when he had big plans for what this weekend could be. In his trips back and forth to the store buying whatever random thing we needed to fix the problem (fixing plumbing issues is definitely on the approved shopping list), it would’ve been so easy to say “pick up dinner!”.

This thought is nearly reflexive for us. Shit hits the fan, we hit the restaurant down the street. We could’ve done it. No one is holding us to the year of less but us. I wanted to, but then Matt agreed, and I changed my mind. We have been doing SO well with this goal. The amount of money we have already saved, just two weeks in, is astounding. Remember, a pause isn’t a pause- it’s a dangerous, slippery slope.

I’m not putting myself or my goals on the back burner. It’s too easy to make exceptions and excuses. It’s harder to practice discipline and stay the course. My habits define me. I want to be defined by my ability to preserve even when it’s hard, not someone who wanted to but then stayed on the couch.

We had fried cabbage and kielbasa last night. It was delicious and fed the family for less than $10. This was a win mentally, financially, and physically.

Another win this weekend- I went to Target today and only bought what we needed- diapers, wipes, trash bags, laundry stuff, and cat food. I am a big McGee fan. I watch Dream Home Makeover and read their book Make Life Beautiful. They launched a collaborative line at Target and this was my first opportunity to look at it all in person. It filled me with such a special type of joy to go and see the home decor items, knowing I wasn’t going to buy anything, but I could still appreciate it. After reading their book, this line represents dreams actualized. They’ve been in the trenches, full of debt, worried about the future, and now have success others only dream of. It really is beautiful.

My discipline and my ability to think again will make my life beautiful too.