Uncomfortable.

“One of the great tragedies of life is knowing how many people in the world are made to soar, paint, sing, or steer- except they never get the chance to find out” - Brandon Sanderson in Tress of the Emerald Sea.

How much have I missed out on by living comfortably underneath my security blanket? Doing the same thing, with the same people, in the same spot will never break new ground. I deprive myself of opportunity every time I stay quiet or hold back. I don’t want to fit inside of a mold. I’ve done many incredible things, but what if I haven’t unlocked the best yet?

I want to give myself more chances to surprise me. I may be the next big something; I just haven’t tried that certain thing yet. So I want to say yes to more things. I want to actively search for new opportunities. I want to chase my interests, big and small. I want to do this for me because I matter, and what I have to offer the world is important. But I also want to do it as a model for my kids.

And it’s not about being great, rich, or famous. It’s about feeding the soul. Finding a fill for my hunger I never knew I was missing. I don’t ever want to feel complacent. I want to charge after challenges and steadily grow.

I want to surround myself with people different than and smarter than me, experts in their area. I want to hear their stories, compare them to mine, and see how they can come together for something beautiful. I will reach out to strangers, show them who I am, and invite them in because everyone has something to offer.

I’ve been writing and sharing this blog for 9 months now. It is a testament to getting uncomfortable for the sake of growth. I have found so much courage and power in sharing myself through words. I love how this platform allows me to expand on thoughts that would’ve lasted just a second in my mind otherwise. It’s served as a way to hold myself accountable and dig deep into who I want to be and how I can get there.

I’ve always imagined I’d write a book someday. I could see myself writing a memoir or something of the sort, but I also love fiction. I have stories, problems, and characters within me that are sick of waiting in line to be let out. I know there is nothing to it but to do it, but I haven’t done it yet. At this moment, I’m asking, “What are you waiting for?” And again, why not me? I am the thing holding me back from trying.

So, in the spirit of getting uncomfortable, I will seek out a writing community. I don’t want to write for the sake of writing. I want to develop my skills and sharpen my tools. I want to create something I’m proud of. I want to find like-minded and spirited people to go on this journey with. I am going to push myself from my comfort zone and see what I got. I am student with so much to learn. I wonder what greatness I will discover.

I refuse to be one of the great tragedies of life.